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![Going through the motions, going with the flow, feeling fucking funky; whatever you want to call it, existing instead of living is a legitimate conflict. And it’s something I have to remind myself out of when I’m caught up in the process of Monday - Friday and no I don’t really want to go out at the weekend because I’m too tired but oh shit, there’s Monday again and there’s Friday again and, hang on, what have I done for the past two months which I’ll look back on with fondness?
I’m guilty of diagnosing myself with tiredness or apathy weeks in advance. In fact, I have to actively list out my month on paper and designate weekday evenings for dinners or pub trips or my 90000th walk around the park, just to make sure I’m actually doing something other than staring at a laptop until the clock dictates I stop. It’s so easy to get caught up in the routine of things, the banal but comfortable, and to forget that life exists outside of the daily grind. That those pockets are where the joy can be found (if I’m not too ‘tired’ to dig in and find it).
Sometimes it’s as simple as calling my Nan or walking to Starbucks with a neighbour, and sometimes what my soul craves is a fancy date night or messy, booze-fuelled weekend with the girls. Sometimes I ~ am ~ actually tired and sometimes I’m just being lazy. But planning in advance to have something to look forward to - some sphere of life outside of work and home - well, that reminds me to keep living. Or at the very least it reminds me that I can be more interesting than: “Hi [x], hope you’re doing well and had a great weekend!” 🌚](http://thelittleplum.co.uk/wp-content/plugins/instagram-feed/img/placeholder.png)