Why I Won’t Hear Anybody Talk Trash About Galentine’s Day

Galentine’s - the one day a year that we come together as gals to celebrate all that it is to be sisters, best friends, soulmates and top babes. It is the day we seek to appreciate all of the amazing benefits that accompany having a girl as your friend - motivational essays via text, funny stories about vaginas, a bodyguard against creepers on a night out and someone who knows which songs to play at your funeral, to name but a few.

If you’ve yet to board the Galentine’s hype train, it’s basically the gals-only equivalent to Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re single, you’re sick of your partner leaving empty Doritos packets on the floor *cough*, or you just prefer the tradition of celebrating your always-faithfuls, Galentine’s is the day to leave the eggplant emojis well protected in their keyboard, and instead get your WhatsApp tapping fingers ready for a whole lot of 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼.

Of course, it’s all a bit of tongue-in-cheek fun. Just as Halloween offers the perfect excuse to get dressed up like a tit and gorge yourself on the Haribo multipacks you promised were for trick or treaters, V/Galentine’s gives us one day in an otherwise dreary February to get all loved up and compare notes on multiple orgasms. We do it for the lols and cute candid pics taken from across the dinner table, as well as the opportunity to actually get together despite increasingly busy schedules.

And yes, there are some slightly unsavoury undertones to the celebrations. Like Valetine’s, Galentine’s is a manufactured “holiday” which is promoted by big business to encourage you to spend. Gifts, cards, dinners and dates all cost money, which is why you see everyone from Subway to Selfridges advertising deals and discounts in the run up to the day. This is the argument which is often put forward by those begrudging us a little romance or a little fun - that we’re all being fooled into needlessly spending for a holiday that doesn’t even exist.

But guess what?

Duh, we fucking know. We’re not fools. Do you really think that we believe a trio of body butters is the only way to express our affection? Or that Thornton’s 3 for 2 comes from a place of kindness, as opposed to encouraging us to buy “just one more thing”?

Photography: Michaela Tornaritis

Blouse - Topshop

Jeans - Topshop

Headband - Accessorize

Shoes - Zara (Mango similar here)

Bag - Lanvin*

Sunglasses - ASOS

Nope, we get it, it’s made up, and actually, I’m pretty sure us gals were the ones to do it. The first big mention of Galentine’s Day that I remember was through a Parks and Recreation episode, the plot of which follows main character, Leslie Knope (played by Amy Poehler), as she throws her annual GD celebration and reunites her mother with an old flame (if you’ve never watched Parks & Rec before then definitely give it a watch - lots of cultural references will soon become clear, including none other than the legendary “TREAT YO’ SELF”).

Despite popularising the “holiday”, Amy Poehler didn’t invent the day herself, and I’ve heard “Galentine’s Day” knocking about for years as the perfect alternative to sitting at home alone on V-Day if you’re sassy and single. Now it’s become so popular that plenty of us are ditching our dates for an exclusive session of girls time; dicks, daiquiris and dangerously decadent desserts - who can blame us?

Did we make it up ourselves? Who knows. Do we care? Not really. Will we willingly accept any opportunity to get pissed, exchange gifts and talk shit about our ex-boyfriends if it is thrust upon us? Abso-fucking-lutely. So yes, we do know it’s all one big marketing ploy, but, no, we don’t care. We just want to celebrate how wonderful it is to be a gal, and to have our fellow gals alongside us.

So celebrate with abandon, fellow queens. Book your restaurants, plan your outfits and trawl Etsy for some suitably sentimental gifts, because the big day is fast approaching and we have a lot to be thankful for (that new baby announcement, for one). To help you out on the dressing front, I’ve pulled together five different looks for five different Galentine’s Day scenarios, covering you from the bar to the bedroom (I was thinking in terms of an old school sleepover, but obv if your Valentine’s is also your Galentine’s, then go wild).

Happy Galentine’s in advance, lovelies, and I hope you have a good one (apart from my first driving instructor who was a total dick - screw her).