Stop Disparaging Romance, Be Loudly In Love

Earlier this week I went to see the film Passengers. If you’re thinking about seeing it, I’ll quickly give you an honest run down of what it is. Two beautiful people wake up early on a journey to a different planet (one just happens to be a super talented mechanic/engineer – handy, huh?), fall in love, get angry at each other, nearly die and then live, with an annoyingly open ending that doesn’t answer any questions and lazily leaves the audience guessing idealist conclusions. There were so many things that irritated me about this film, but there were a few moments of saving grace. One of these moments was when the disgustingly beautiful Chris Pratt announced to the equally as disgustingly beautiful J Law: “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You kill me.”

Top – Topshop

Jeans – Topshop (sold out – Topshop alternative here)

Shoes – Zara (Jigsaw alternative here)

Coat – COS

Rings – Missoma Triple Horn Ring and Missoma Interstellar Ring

At this moment I melted into my seat. I squeezed Keiran’s hand, half fuelled by rage that he’d never said that to me and half fuelled by wanting him to know that I adore him in exactly the same way. When I think back on this moment now, however, I’m struck by the fact that I was also really trying to keep my cool. I didn’t want people to know that I was swooning inside thanks to these cheesy on-screen lines. I sat, eye twitching as I fought to hold in a gasping ‘oh my gaaaaaad’, all the while praying for that Willy Wonka digital gun.

But let’s face it – loving romance is no longer cool; it’s much more sophisticated to be aloof, hard to attain, only romantic in the most desperate of moments. Much more “grown up” – much more mature even. There’s seen to be a level of naivety in being unabashedly adoring, as if it’s for those who haven’t been through life and been jaded by the “reality” of love. Well, I’m calling quits. I don’t care if my PDA offends you – I’m embracing romance, loud and proud.

Whilst I hate rom coms, I’m a sucker for love on screen. Jim and Pam are the definition of #RelationshipGoals (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, cancel your plans and watching The Office US in full) and don’t even get me started on The Notebook. Actually, do get me started, because it’s one of the most freakin’ romantic films ever. Did you come here for a script? Well you’re getting one!

Noah: “Would you just stay with me?”
Allie: “Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fighting.”
Noah: “Well, that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. They have like a two second rebound rate and you’re back doing the next pain-in the ass thing.”
Allie: “So what?”
Noah: “So it’s not gonna’ be easy. It’s gonna’ be really hard. And we’re gonna’ have to work at this every day but I wanna do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”

That all consuming, bare-your-soul declaration of love is what I live
for. Okay, two confessions – 1) I spiralled into a Notebook YouTube
binging fest after finding that clip and 2) I was very close to also
including the “It still isn’t over” moment but I felt that was going too
far. Nonetheless, both reinforced the fact that I’m a sucker for romance. And I’m not ashamed.

I’ve always been a sucker for affection. I love cuddling, sharing baths, having my hair brushed; when K and I first met, he wasn’t the same, but I think very early on I made it clear that if you love someone, why the fuck waste time holding it back. After that, he opened up. We spend every day together, so when he went away on a mini-festival break last year, he had flowers delivered to me the when he departed and I now have the note permanently pinned to my mirror. I live for handwritten letters and cards, and a love quote pulled from Google is guaranteed to get me in a tiz.

Making the person you love happy will flood you with joy, and that’s one of the reasons I always end up giving K his birthday/Christmas presents early – I want to see his reaction and enjoy that feeling. I unashamedly PDA all over the place, and I know that this probably warrants a lot of snotty cringing and Regina George eye rolls from outside spectators, but I.do.not.care. I don’t care!! And it’s so great!! I can kiss my boyfriend 17 times in Boots and I’m like Julie freakin’ Andrews spinning around on the top of a hill. I’m so desperate for this negative perception of romance to shift and for people to be able to tweet about how they feel without having to add the disclaimer of *cringy moment*.

My brother always says that Keiran and I are the most annoying couple ever. We have pet names for each other, talk to each other in stupid voices and can’t stand next to each other without cuddling. But a beautiful thing has happened – he too is now in love. When I was discussing this with him, I noted that he seemed happier than ever lately. “I’m still grumpy, just less grumpy”, he retorted, to which I replied: “There’s nothing wrong with admitting your happy.” He paused for a second, and then said: “I am happier in all honesty.” Our natural reaction is to disparage romance, to insist that we’re still cool and cold hearted and to not admit that secretly, all of those clichéd canvases in TK Maxx do kind of make sense to us now. And I’m still guilty of this in ways; earlier today I wanted to tweet that one of the best things about being in love is being somebody’s first thought, but I stopped myself, thinking that it was probably too soppy for the internet.

But fuck that! I want to express my happiness. And I think everybody should express their happiness. Don’t let the fear of judgement dictate how you are in love – share that cliché holiday pic, hashtag #luckygirl, kiss in the cinema – ENJOY BEING IN LOVE and revel in the adoration. It’s a beautiful thing and to be connected to another person in that way is actually pretty profound. So if you do anything today, take time off from worrying about other people’s perceptions, and be vulnerably, absolutely and unashamedly in love. Trust me, it’s a bubble you won’t want to burst.

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Stop Disparaging Romance, Be Loudly In Love