Stop Disparaging Romance, Be Loudly In Love


Earlier this week I went to see the film Passengers. If you’re thinking about seeing it, I’ll quickly give you an honest run down of what it is. Two beautiful people wake up early on a journey to a different planet (one just happens to be a super talented mechanic/engineer – handy, huh?), fall in love, get angry at each other, nearly die and then live, with an annoyingly open ending that doesn’t answer any questions and lazily leaves the audience guessing idealist conclusions. There were so many things that irritated me about this film, but there were a few moments of saving grace. One of these moments was when the disgustingly beautiful Chris Pratt announced to the equally as disgustingly beautiful J Law: “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. You kill me.”

Top – Topshop
Jeans – Topshop (sold out – Topshop alternative here)
Shoes – Zara (Jigsaw alternative here)
Coat – COS
Rings – Missoma Triple Horn Ring and Missoma Interstellar Ring

At this moment I melted into my seat. I squeezed Keiran’s hand, half fuelled by rage that he’d never said that to me and half fuelled by wanting him to know that I adore him in exactly the same way. When I think back on this moment now, however, I’m struck by the fact that I was also really trying to keep my cool. I didn’t want people to know that I was swooning inside thanks to these cheesy on-screen lines. I sat, eye twitching as I fought to hold in a gasping ‘oh my gaaaaaad’, all the while praying for that Willy Wonka digital gun.

But let’s face it – loving romance is no longer cool; it’s much more sophisticated to be aloof, hard to attain, only romantic in the most desperate of moments. Much more “grown up” – much more mature even. There’s seen to be a level of naivety in being unabashedly adoring, as if it’s for those who haven’t been through life and been jaded by the “reality” of love. Well, I’m calling quits. I don’t care if my PDA offends you – I’m embracing romance, loud and proud.

 

Whilst I hate rom coms, I’m a sucker for love on screen. Jim and Pam are the definition of #RelationshipGoals (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, cancel your plans and watching The Office US in full) and don’t even get me started on The Notebook. Actually, do get me started, because it’s one of the most freakin’ romantic films ever. Did you come here for a script? Well you’re getting one!

Noah: “Would you just stay with me?”
Allie: “Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fighting.”
Noah: “Well, that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you’re being a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. They have like a two second rebound rate and you’re back doing the next pain-in the ass thing.”
Allie: “So what?”
Noah: “So it’s not gonna’ be easy. It’s gonna’ be really hard. And we’re gonna’ have to work at this every day but I wanna do that, because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.

That all consuming, bare-your-soul declaration of love is what I live
for. Okay, two confessions – 1) I spiralled into a Notebook YouTube
binging fest after finding that clip and 2) I was very close to also
including the “It still isn’t over” moment but I felt that was going too
far. Nonetheless, both reinforced the fact that I’m a sucker for romance. And I’m not ashamed.

 

I’ve always been a sucker for affection. I love cuddling, sharing baths, having my hair brushed; when K and I first met, he wasn’t the same, but I think very early on I made it clear that if you love someone, why the fuck waste time holding it back. After that, he opened up. We spend every day together, so when he went away on a mini-festival break last year, he had flowers delivered to me the when he departed and I now have the note permanently pinned to my mirror.  I live for handwritten letters and cards, and a love quote pulled from Google is guaranteed to get me in a tiz.

Making the person you love happy will flood you with joy, and that’s one of the reasons I always end up giving K his birthday/Christmas presents early – I want to see his reaction and enjoy that feeling. I unashamedly PDA all over the place, and I know that this probably warrants a lot of snotty cringing and Regina George eye rolls from outside spectators, but I.do.not.care. I don’t care!! And it’s so great!! I can kiss my boyfriend 17 times in Boots and I’m like Julie freakin’ Andrews spinning around on the top of a hill. I’m so desperate for this negative perception of romance to shift and for people to be able to tweet about how they feel without having to add the disclaimer of *cringy moment*. 

 My brother always says that Keiran and I are the most annoying couple ever. We have pet names for each other, talk to each other in stupid voices and can’t stand next to each other without cuddling. But a beautiful thing has happened – he too is now in love. When I was discussing this with him, I noted that he seemed happier than ever lately. “I’m still grumpy, just less grumpy”, he retorted, to which I replied: “There’s nothing wrong with admitting your happy.” He paused for a second, and then said: “I am happier in all honesty.” Our natural reaction is to disparage romance, to insist that we’re still cool and cold hearted and to not admit that secretly, all of those clichéd canvases in TK Maxx do kind of make sense to us now. And I’m still guilty of this in ways; earlier today I wanted to tweet that one of the best things about being in love is being somebody’s first thought, but I stopped myself, thinking that it was probably too soppy for the internet.

But fuck that! I want to express my happiness. And I think everybody should express their happiness. Don’t let the fear of judgement dictate how you are in love – share that cliché holiday pic, hashtag #luckygirl, kiss in the cinema – ENJOY BEING IN LOVE and revel in the adoration. It’s a beautiful thing and to be connected to another person in that way is actually pretty profound. So if you do anything today, take time off from worrying about other people’s perceptions, and be vulnerably, absolutely and unashamedly in love. Trust me, it’s a bubble you won’t want to burst.

  • Honestly one of my favourite posts ever! I didn't know I needed to read something about romance until now. Thank you for sharing and here's to being a total romantic and being proud of it! X

  • I love this post!! I always hate it when people make fun of couples being in love – it just reeks of bitterness and I am not about that. I love seeing couples hold hands or have cute moments in public, because two people being that happy can only be a good thing in my book, and I just think, "good for them! I'm glad they have that!"

    So kiss your bf in public all you want – don't hide your own happiness for the sake of some jealous strangers!

    Shannon x

  • I'm so unromantic but I don't like that I'm like it! I definitely wish I was more comfortable with someone being romantic with me. I love seeing other people being romantic though, it's always good to know there is love in the world! I do however, love your shirt!

    Jaynie Shannon | Beauty & Lifestyle

    xx

  • A lovely post. I'm with you on Notebook, but I can't watch it unless my #shoppinghaul includes Boots's entire tissue supply ☺

    Me and my boyfriend are cuddlers too and while I keep rolling my eyes at chick-lit style romance, romance is important. But it means something different for everybody, for us, it's cuddling on the sofa watching a film and relaxing.
    I love your writing style and am really happy I stumbled upon your blog.

    Maya | londondamsel.co.uk

  • I wouldn't say I'm "romantic" whatever that means. I love my partner, I respect him greatly and I show him I love him in my own special way. I dont have issues PDA and holding hands etc but within reason coz I think some people definitely over do it. I definitely hate rom coms and have never watched the notebook or anything similar and have no intentions of ever watching it (sorry not sorry) lol.I do believe everyone loves differently and has a different "love language" and as long as you find the right one for you and your partner then you're sweet! My love language is totally different to yours but does not mean I'm not head over heels in love with my boo just different. I do agree that love should not be disparaged though and that the person you love should know you love them every single day and as long as they do and you're both happy nothing else matters. Interesting read…

  • Such a nice post, I love how you write about seeing things from a different perspective, about things Ive never actually thought about. But this is so true! Why not be unapologetically in love if it makes you happy?
    Love this top as well! x

  • Yes, yes, YEEESSSS!! I want to share this post with everyone and everything I know. Xx

    Lucy x // http://lucy-cole.co.uk

  • This is so beautifully written and your outfit is gorgeous too. I absolutely agree – with all this shit going on in the world we should be shouting about love from the roof tops. The Notebook is also my faaaaveee, alongside PS. I Love You. That film just kills me. xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

  • Chlo I think this is my favourite blog post ever. I'm such a hopeless romantic and despite the fact that I have never been in love, this just makes me so so excited to one day be all mushy and loved up with someone. You put everything I've ever thought about love and this kind of thing into words, and I genuinely might just print this blog post out and pin it on my wall because I love it so much (too far? I don't care, I'm weird hahaa) xxx

    • I'll post it on my wall if you post it on yours, I swear I'm gonna need reminded of this every now and again!

  • loving it! I hate how society puts you in being more cynical just to be cool. can't we just be who we want to be? expressing our feelings like we want? and the notebook is still one of the greatest movie ever in this sense!

    xx from italy
    Cate ღ 35mm in Style

  • Oh my, this is so beautiful! Couldn't agree more, if you're in love and happy, shout it from the rooftops! Buy each other flowers! I hope I get to experience this some day, lovely post! LOVE this outfit too x

    Summer, http://www.thetwinswardrobe.com

  • This post made me smile and actually I am guilty of being a little cold and reserved when it comes to love as I don't like showing it off on social media or in real life and I don't even know why haha Like I am madly in love but don't wanna look immature posting soppy stuff so I refrain myself all the time but you're damn right, fu-k that! Love loud 🙂

    Creepers & Cupcakes

  • There's nothing wrong with showing affection and how you really in feel in public in my opinion 🙂 I don't care what everyone else thinks x

    http://www.luxestyle.co.uk

  • You look so cute Love your jeans !

    Sara
    http://www.thecrimeofashion.com

  • This is such a good message! My boyfriend has a big thing with PDA he thinks we should only really show any love when its just us two. He is the least romantic person ever, I'm determined to make him more romantic, I have no problem with showing how much I love him but I do always say if I tweet anything about him, *sorry for the soppiness* when I shouldn't have to! Also lovely photos your outfit it spot on!
    https://www.pagesfrombeth.blogspot.com

  • HECK YEA I love this post, you've literally described me and now i'm going to send this post to my boyfriend, the lucky thing 🙂

  • I really honestly love this because it is true. We are too worried about what other people think, and we also find it easy to dispose of people. But when you find true unconditional love, that person will want you flaws and all and you will both accept and love eachother in ways that no other individual will ever can!
    NEW POST
    http://www.fashionnfreedom.blogspot.com

  • This hits home for me in a big way! When I was single I was always the person outwardly disparaging romance, but secretly longing painfully for it. Then, I had a mind shift. I'm not sure what brought it on, but one day I woke up and realized how bad all the negativity surrounding the concepts of love and romance were affecting me. I decided love should be celebrated…even other people's. Love is so positive and just because I had yet to experience it didn't mean I should go around knocking the good in the world (even if it wasn't happening to me). I created a Pinterest board entitled "Love, Love" where I secretly started pinning those soppy quotes and coupley images I'd been keeping docked in my "Likes" section, too afraid to pin them and let the world know that I was not immune to wanting love and romance. Being open to love and celebrating love made me feel more positive and light.

    Within two months I started dating my current boyfriend. I'm not saying that being open to love is the secret sauce or the magnet that brought us together. However, being open and fearless about celebrating love is the thing that made me the person who was capable of saying "yes" to a relationship with open arms. Instead of feeling scared of commitment and "what-if's," I jumped in with both feet determined to give this thing my best shot. We've been together over two years now and are building our home together, so hopefully our story continues to err on the side of happy.

  • This is so lovely! It really made me smile to read about how happy you are and you're absolutely right – when you're happy you shouldn't have to hide it! So some people roll their eyes or don't want to see PDA, that's their problem not yours!

    A lot of my friends are quite secretive and don't really confess their feelings out loud (and some really aren't that cuddly with their partners) and that makes me feel uncomfortable sometimes really! I'm that weirdo that loves seeing people kiss or hold hands on the street because it shows me that these people are in love and happy – what's not to feel happy about that?

    I can definitely share your love and soppyness and I agree that society has lead to us trying to act 'cool' as if we don't have feelings to avoid embarrassment when in actual fact we should be taking every day as an opportunity to express our love for people!

    JosieVictoriaa // Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle


LATESTS VIDEOS

Read previous post:
I LOVE New Year’s Resolutions, And Here’s Why

Where New Year's Resolutions were once a welcome annual tradition, they are now met with the kind of yearly disparaging...

Close