Feminism: Can We Blog About It More Please?

Not long ago I spoke about contraception (read it here), sex and quite possibly not wanting cum in my hair (no amount of dry shampoo can save you), and the response was so overwhelmingly uplifting that I didn’t want the conversation to end there. So many of you commented sharing your stories with me and each other, and it was so lovely to move beyond fluffy fashion (which I admittedly love) and talk about some real life shit that affects us all.

I recently drafted a post about how *shockhorror* girls like sex, and how for a long time I had felt taboo about ever mentioning sex or my vagina or blow jobs or the weird flavoured lubes that you can buy, but then I realised that talking about sex plays into a much larger conversation that we as bloggers just don’t seem to be having. Male or female, why is it that so few of us ever mention feminism?

I’m a feminist. I believe that if you don’t align with the very basic views of feminism (there are many feminisms, but at the core of every one is the drive for equality amongst genders for all women of all races of all classes of all backgrounds of all assigned genders etc etc etc), then you’re a sexist. I don’t accept that some girls/women don’t have the right to an education, I don’t accept that women who were assigned a different gender at birth have to struggle to just be themselves and I don’t accept that I could be called a slut for saying I love sex.

I’ve slept with 5 people since I lost my virginity at 18 in a weird drunken liaison where I was the only drunk one and I was really fucking drunk (I was literally “fucking” drunk – this has made me laugh loads pls join me). When it comes to girls and sex vs. boys and sex, have you noticed how the “good number” for each seems to change so dramatically? Have you noticed how there are a shitload of derogatory terms to describe a “promiscuous woman” (slut, whore, slag, sket, tramp, hussy, hoe) but when it comes to describing a male who behaves exactly the same, it’s an adaption of the female term (manwhore)? Have you ever stood at a bar on a night out and had to explain to some creep why it’s not okay for him to touch your arse as he walks past?

The majority of the bloggers that I love and follow and talk to are girls. I’ll take an educated guess and say we’re all experiencing sexism on some level, and yet I rarely see bloggers talking about feminism or how it has affected their lives. When I think back over my 22 years of being a sassy lil’ bitch, I can recognise so many moments where I was looking for words like feminism and sexism and mysogyny to explain what I was seeing and feeling. Now I spend my days trying not to self-combust whenever I hear the word ‘slut’ being bandied about.

What I would really love is to see more bloggers talking about their feminism and how it has helped shape who they are today – their experiences and revelations, their battles and victories, their hopes and dreams. Myself, I remember being separated in primary school for sex education, and whilst the boys got an hour to learn about wanking, we had to watch videos of a cartoon woman shrinking in horror at her period and then later popping on out a baby. Why didn’t we get to learn about masturbating? And why in high school could every Tom, Dick (heh) and Harry then have a conversation about their early morning wankfest, whilst the world went up in flames if a girl ever dared to mention fingering herself? The bottom line to this narrative we’re fed from a very young age is that girls cannot be willingly and independently sexual, and that’s bullshit.

I could rage about this for years, but if you’re anything like me and this is something you feel passionately about, then please share your story with me! You can either write up your own blog post, comment down below or hit me up on Instagram/Twitter (@chloeplumstead) – just whatever you do, please tag me so I can read!

Dress – c/o Glamorous
Necklace – ASOS
Mules – Primark

  • I. Love. This.

    I think it's so important to talk about 'everyday' feminism more, because a lot of the subtle messages of sexism, like the taboo of girls talking about anything related to sex or using weird euphemisms for vaginas, are planted in our minds from an early age. I remember when I was around 5, I would constantly hear people saying things like 'girls are just not as smart as boys' and 'you don't need to push yourself so hard because you're doing good enough for a girl', and even from a young age it has made me feel so angry.

    Talking about this is making me so passionate that I think I'm going to write a separate post on it!

    YIGE a blog

  • I feel like I haven't been on your blog nearly enough recently, and you've done some pretty awesome posts lately that I've missed thanks to the joy that is uni. Seriously though, someone needed to say exactly what you've just said. It's about damn time we talked about feminism more, I hate the fact it's still such a taboo subject that's almost ridiculed all the time and aligned with Hitler.

    Jodie // jodieloue.com

  • Preach. I don't understand the reasoning behind separating boys and girls in primary school for sex ed – surely it's just as important for boys to be educated on periods as it is for girls? Like my boyfriend didn't know what the difference between a tampon and a pad was before we got together and that just seems crazy?

    My contraception posts are up there with my top viewed posts but I definitely think feminist issues need to be talked about more!

    Megan Lazy Thoughts

  • I love this post so much! I completely agree that nobody seems to take about these things that I'm 99% sure we experience on a very regular basis! It's just upsetting and annoying that society teaches us to be this way.

    You're inspiring me to write a similar post now, so thank you!!

    heart-autumn.blogspot.com

  • I love you Chlo and this post is amazing! You are soooo right and now is the time to be talking about feminism and the time for sassy women like you to be taking a stand!

    I'm still only 17 but reading your posts is inspiring me so much and I actually find them so comforting to read because it's kind of like you're a role model (lmao how fucking cheesey haha)

    Keep standing your ground girl! Xxx

  • Totally agree but I am too shy and private to talk about my sexual experiences of how it shaped me as a women! I love that women are more open about it now though does make you feel ok and validated that people have been through the same experiences and feelings!

    http://Www.virgosandkisses.com

  • Chlo, I love you! This post is amazing! You are so right, us bloggers should talk about feminism and not be embarrased about. It sucks that society teaches us to be like this. You're such an inspiration for me as a 19-year old. I hope I can be as sassy and open about stuff like this as you are!

    Your posts have been so, sooo good lately! Definitely going to have a lil' catch up! xx

  • Amen, on point after the day I've had .. already had a big ol rant on Facebook.

    Today I decided to walk home from work – by half way I'd been honked or shouted at by about 4 different male drivers (I'm wearing baggy jeans and a jumper incase anyone is a dick enough to be interested). By the 5th car I was pretty fed up. It was a stereotypical white van with a stereotypical big Neanderthal in it shouting sexy at me and various noises. I gave him a very dirty look. Naturally that didn't stop him and when I reached a crossing he turned off to have a proper look at me and let me have some more 'compliments', at which point I gave him the finger. He drove off and I carried on assuming that would be the end of it which is irritating enough. Instead this man decided to drive round the block, park and wait for me to go past again at which point he aggressively came up to me on the street to let me know how outraged he was that I had not been happy to receive his 'compliment'. This guy genuinely thought it's fine to shout stuff out of windows to women even when they clearly aren't interested. I told him that most people would call that harrassment. He then went on to call me a bitch, a whore and told me that if I ever did it again he would break my fingers. He was double my size and had no problem getting in my face. The most horrible thing about this situation is that apart from that this guy looked totally normal. He wasn't foaming at the mouth or talking weirdly, he spoke quite eloquently apart from the language, he had nice teeth, he was wearing normal clothes. He just thought that girls who don't respond favourably to shouts in the street deserve to be threatened and they deserve to be intimidated when they continue to stick up for themselves. He walked back to his car as though he had satisfactorily apprehended a teenager who was being rude for no reason to a member of public, totally justified in threatening to hurt me as well as harassing me verbally and physically. Anyway I've reported his car to the police. I'm now walking the rest of the way home feeling nervous every time a white van drives past. This is being a girl. The last thing I'm going to do however is start letting over entitled men talk to me however they want as though I'm a prop in GTA for them to play with. If anyone thinks that makes me a member of the 'feminist' brigade and that I therefore deserve what I get then I hope the same happens to you one day except if you're a guy it almost definitely won't. I'm not a gobby angry bra burner. I just want to be able to walk home on a nice day without being harassed.

  • You make some really good points in this post Chloe and I think as a society we should all be becoming clearer about feminism – as you say there are many types and some of these types can be confused with others and people can misjudge those who literally just want godamn equality! I totally agree that there is a problem with the way men and women are traditionally en/discouraged from talking about their sexual experiences and what is 'appropriate'. Thankfully, we can be the generation that really changes this and it's so important that through posts like these, we do!
    Keep doing what you're doing; it's brilliant! 🙂
    Rebecca | Notes From September
    Xx

  • YAS CHLO, the masturbating part has always infuriated me. I remember being in a year 8 class and someone mentioned that girls could masturbate, I was so bloody shocked that girls had the ability to wank – but knew how boys could do it? Why was I taught about male bodies before I was taught to understand my own? Why was I taught that men enjoy sex and women don't? Its absurd.

  • YES to this post! I love reading posts talking about real things, recent posts about contraception have really resonated with me. We really should talk more about all of those things and feminism and sex, it's so eye-opening and empowering. Throughout high school you would hear boys talking about masturbation and sex constantly but never any girls, and I am sick and tired of the idea that men can enjoy sex and sleep with whoever they want yet women can't and are called disgusting names for it. It should be the same for both genders, it is so infuriating finding out that people you thought of as friends have sexist views on the sex lives of women, yet their opinions on what it takes to be a 'slag' do not apply to their own life. Not that I think there is anything such thing as a 'slag', as long as you are not hurting anyone or yourself, you should be able to do what you like with who you like, regardless of gender. x

    electraviolet.co.uk

  • This is so great that you wrote about it. On my blog, I don't really use my voice, I feel like I don't always have one. And this is something that follow most of women: fear of imposture.
    As women, the society makes us feel guilty in a lot of other areas, sex as you mentioned but also work. If we know what we want, we can be called "bossy", if we succeed we can feel pressure of not being the right person in the right place like we don't deserve it like we're a fraud, and the salary of course, they're more paid than us for the same job (at least in France, I don't know if it's the case in the UK) life seems easier for men (even for physical reasons), they get the great rôle while it seems we can't be who we want (according to the society with its dos and donts because of course we can, and most of us do their best). The Emma Watson campaign HeforShe was a brillant idea.

  • I did a mini fist-pump so many times when reading this. You are right!
    I am a feminist, but kept it on the down low for years, because I didn't want people (e.g. men) to think I was some kind of bra-burning man-hater. My own opinion of myself in relation to men's views on me was part of the problem and it wasn't until I studied the history and ideology of Feminism in A Level Politics that I finally understood. 5 years later, and I'm opening up debate and discussion all the time on my blog in my "Thursday Thoughts" series. Have a look! 🙂

    Joelle
    xx
    FebruaryGirl.

  • We've been deluged with feminist propaganda for many years. Its initial plea for equal opportunity for women in many professions gained sympathy by many well-meaning men and women. Utubers


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