Not long ago I spoke about contraception (read it here), sex and quite possibly not wanting cum in my hair (no amount of dry shampoo can save you), and the response was so overwhelmingly uplifting that I didn’t want the conversation to end there. So many of you commented sharing your stories with me and each other, and it was so lovely to move beyond fluffy fashion (which I admittedly love) and talk about some real life shit that affects us all.
I recently drafted a post about how *shockhorror* girls like sex, and how for a long time I had felt taboo about ever mentioning sex or my vagina or blow jobs or the weird flavoured lubes that you can buy, but then I realised that talking about sex plays into a much larger conversation that we as bloggers just don’t seem to be having. Male or female, why is it that so few of us ever mention feminism?
I’m a feminist. I believe that if you don’t align with the very basic views of feminism (there are many feminisms, but at the core of every one is the drive for equality amongst genders for all women of all races of all classes of all backgrounds of all assigned genders etc etc etc), then you’re a sexist. I don’t accept that some girls/women don’t have the right to an education, I don’t accept that women who were assigned a different gender at birth have to struggle to just be themselves and I don’t accept that I could be called a slut for saying I love sex.
I’ve slept with 5 people since I lost my virginity at 18 in a weird drunken liaison where I was the only drunk one and I was really fucking drunk (I was literally “fucking” drunk – this has made me laugh loads pls join me). When it comes to girls and sex vs. boys and sex, have you noticed how the “good number” for each seems to change so dramatically? Have you noticed how there are a shitload of derogatory terms to describe a “promiscuous woman” (slut, whore, slag, sket, tramp, hussy, hoe) but when it comes to describing a male who behaves exactly the same, it’s an adaption of the female term (manwhore)? Have you ever stood at a bar on a night out and had to explain to some creep why it’s not okay for him to touch your arse as he walks past?
The majority of the bloggers that I love and follow and talk to are girls. I’ll take an educated guess and say we’re all experiencing sexism on some level, and yet I rarely see bloggers talking about feminism or how it has affected their lives. When I think back over my 22 years of being a sassy lil’ bitch, I can recognise so many moments where I was looking for words like feminism and sexism and mysogyny to explain what I was seeing and feeling. Now I spend my days trying not to self-combust whenever I hear the word ‘slut’ being bandied about.
What I would really love is to see more bloggers talking about their feminism and how it has helped shape who they are today – their experiences and revelations, their battles and victories, their hopes and dreams. Myself, I remember being separated in primary school for sex education, and whilst the boys got an hour to learn about wanking, we had to watch videos of a cartoon woman shrinking in horror at her period and then later popping on out a baby. Why didn’t we get to learn about masturbating? And why in high school could every Tom, Dick (heh) and Harry then have a conversation about their early morning wankfest, whilst the world went up in flames if a girl ever dared to mention fingering herself? The bottom line to this narrative we’re fed from a very young age is that girls cannot be willingly and independently sexual, and that’s bullshit.
I could rage about this for years, but if you’re anything like me and this is something you feel passionately about, then please share your story with me! You can either write up your own blog post, comment down below or hit me up on Instagram/Twitter (@chloeplumstead) – just whatever you do, please tag me so I can read!