Let’s Talk About Contraception

Bloggers talk about everything from depression to Dubai to designer shoes, but when it comes to periods and contraception, the blogosphere is relatively quiet. Whether it’s a case of me missing these posts or we as bloggers shying away from the one topic that undoubtedly affects us all, I decided I would do my lil’ bit to bolster the conversation.

I always find contraception is a tricky subject. For a long, long time I wasn’t using any contraception other than the pull-out method (with someone I knew was STI free, it’s important to note). Obviously I wouldn’t recommend this because it can so easily go wrong, but I was very careful and I never once had a serious pregnancy scare. My periods have always been pretty irregular anyway and I never kept a diary of when they were meant to come, so when one did turn up, it was like, ‘Hey! Yeah! You’re foetus free!’. That being said, the pull-out method is not only super risky, it’s also seriously unromantic. Nothing ruins a good sesh more than someone pulling out and saying: ‘Where shall I cum?’ *NOT*IN*MY*HAIR*

Last Winter I decided it was finally time to sort my contraception out; I started browsing the web in search of people’s experiences with various forms of contraception, trying to weigh up the pros and cons of all the different options. This is one of the main reasons I wanted to do this post – it was so hard to find a review or an individual experience that isn’t posted on some obscure or un-relatable forum, and I would have loved to have read something from another blogger’s perspective.

After completing a ton of quizzes and knowing that I didn’t want to take the pill, I decided to opt for the contraceptive injection. My mum used to get the contraceptive injection regularly when she was younger, and I even remember going to the surgery with her and seeing her get injected in the butt- cheek (ahh, the good old days). She had a really great experience with it and I liked the idea of only having to pop to the clinic for ten minutes every three months, so I went ahead and had the injection in my upper right thigh. It wasn’t very painful at all – just a slight scratch and a brief sharp sting as she squeezed in the hormones, but it was over really quickly and I was on my way.

Whilst I was having my consultation my doctor did warn me that the injection is the only contraception that has tangible evidence linking it to weight gain. I’d voiced this concern to my Mum, but she said she’d never been skinnier than when she was having the injection, so I thought ‘fuck it’. However, I wasn’t so lucky. I’ve hated the contraceptive injection (bar not having to worry about protection whatsoever for three months). I have gained 6kg in 12 weeks, had sporadic bleeding and spotting and suffered with nausea and breast tenderness. At this point it is worth saying that other than the weight gain symptoms do settle down as the months go on, but still, I did not like.

Having decided that I definitely didn’t want the repeated injection, I sat down with the doctor at the clinic today to discuss my other options. Whilst the pill was an available form, I don’t trust myself to not get too pissed, throw up and then drunkenly trying to engage in a late night shag (if you throw up it doesn’t work, just in case you didn’t know!). I decided to opt for the contraceptive implant. The implant has no evidential links to weight gain and whilst my periods might still be a bit crazy, as long as I don’t get any fucking chubbier, I’ll be a happy girl.

The procedure for the implant is as follows: your nurse or doctor will sterilise the upper under-arm of your non-writing arm with antibacterial spray/wipes, inject you with local anaesthetic, make a small incision and then slide the thin plastic rod up under your skin. The implant then works for three years, after which you can choose to have it removed and replaced, or just removed completely (you can have it removed in the meantime if you don’t like it). After the super short procedure a plaster is placed on the puncture site and your arm is bandaged to help diminish the inevitable bruising to come.

It doesn’t really hurt – again, a brief scratch and a bit of a shitty feeling when the implant is pushed under your skin, but once it’s over you forget about it. I only got mine put in today so my arm is still sore, but the whole thing should be healed up within 5 days. Obviously I haven’t had time to experience any positive or negative effects yet, but I’ll be sure to get back to you as the days go on and I do or do not feel them.

And now I’m genuinely interested in hearing your contraception stories – what do you use? What hasn’t worked for you? What have you loved and hated? Tweet me @chloeplumstead, Insta DM me @chloeplumstead or comment down below and let me know! Sharing is caring guys!


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