Think suits are only for the boardroom? Think again. We all lead busy lives and sometimes there’s no time to run home for an outfit change and spritz of dry shampoo, so if you’re stuck for transitional desk to dancefloor dresswear, then a suit could be for you. Here’s how to choose your suit and style it up so you can head straight from Powerpoint to Pornstar (Martini, that is).
CROP IT: Ditch the crisp white shirt and opt for a ribbed tee underneath – it’s more casual and can be fashioned sans-blazer for sports chic come the evening. If you take your drunk self further than the cocktail bar, then I say ditch the bra and free those nips. I might be the only one, but nothing says “I’m meant to be here” than the suggestion of a nipple and I ain’t sorry about that.
CHOKER UP: This post has become very sexually suggestive but just bear with me… A choker is the easiest way to glam up a simple outfit with no effort at all, and this thick stretchy number from Pretty Little Thing comes in a variety of colours so you can keep a couple in your desk drawer for all occasions. Whether you opt for something minimal or go for more detailed pieces with included layered necklaces, a little bit of jazzy neckwear is an easy way to sass up your office wear.
EMBRACE THE S&M BOOT: Shiny, stretchy and bad to the bone, these boots are well at home in the secret part of my wardrobe (just joking Mum… kinda…). The Dior dupes that have been sending the interwebs alight, these boots are sexy to the extreme and the “don’t-fuck-with-me” vibes can take any outfit from conservative to killer. Again, this Pretty Little Thing pair come in a number of colours and finishes (you can see them all here), and I’ve worn them underneath rolled up trousers with not a hint of ankle to be seen.
SLICK & SIMPLE: So your outfit is on point, and now you need to fix your head. I say head, because everything above my neck is usually a disaster come the end of the day. The last thing I would recommend is piling on the eyeliner in a desperate attempt to get a one-tool smokey eye. Instead, use that lil’ bit of grease your hair now has and fashion yourself a slick low ponytail, complete with deep side parting. Next cover up any dark circles and redness with concealer, and keep your make-up as simple as possible – the work toilets before dranks are not the place for experimenting with lipstick as blusher, trust me.