The clock says 3:15pm and yet this is my current working situation: pyjamas on, in bed, to-do list half tackled and yawns continuously stifled in an attempt to convince myself that I can definitely achieve everything I wanted to today. The reality? I’m probably going to fall asleep halfway through writing this, and wake up to Keiran shaking me whilst questioning where his dinner is (no, I’m not his housewife, but for three days I’ve been promising a good old-fashioned home cooked meal, and so far I’ve ordered two takeaways and declared one evening to be dinner-less, soooo…).
I overindulged on fun at the weekend and it’s truly coming round to bite me in the arse. I used to stay out until silly o’clock when I was caught up in the hedonism of being 18/19, but now I need a good two days of R&R before I feel like I can tackle the world again (or more aptly, my inbox). Whilst I’m blaming late nights and my prosecco affliction for my inability to keep my eyes open, the reality is that my diet is built on bread and cheese and despite my 6am alarm, I routinely stay up well past midnight just to “make the most of my night”, so I can’t hold Saturday wholly responsible.
If your late teens is all about going wild, sleeping in until 3pm and going wild again, it seems your mid-twenties are made for going wild, feeling awful, and then convincing yourself against your better judgement that you have to keep losing the plot otherwise WHOOSH, your youth will have passed you by and you’ll regret it. Oh, and don’t forget to travel the world whilst you have no responsibilities, shag as much as humanly possible and also prepare yourself for later life with strange bank accounts you don’t really understand. It’s simple, really.
As much as I would love to spend a couple hundred words complaining about how hard our mid-twenties are whilst working from bed from my overpriced laptop (the privilege and irony is not lost on me, trust me), today’s post is all about life goals. And I’m not talking Maldives #Gowls or protein powder #Goalz (although true story: I did buy a protein shaker the other day, but it’s primary function is to serve as a mixer for iced coffees - not sure that’s particularly on brand), but the smaller, quieter goals that we often keep to ourselves. The kind of goals we write down in a notebook once or twice, only to be brushed under the carpet for bigger dreams or bigger problems.
T-Shirt - Topshop
Trousers - Mango
Headband - Accessorize
Earrings - Jane Koenig*
Inital Studs - Daisy London*
Necklace - Carrie Elizabeth Jewellery*
Bag - Charles & Keith*
Shoes - Topshop
Coin Ring - ASOS
Here’s one of mine: I want to go on a barista course. I have a weird relationship with coffee in the sense that I almost don’t like the taste, but I love drinking it. I’m trying to ~ adult ~ myself and slowly move away from my usual skinny caramel latte (*cough*with extra syrup*cough*), a move which many of my friends have made and admit is not easy, but does enable you to consume a flat white without wanting to heave. I had an iced coffee the other day and became obsessed, although I’m not entirely sure switching the temperature constitutes trying something new, but bear with me.
As much as I love drinking coffee, I am awful at making it. I bought a coffee machine a couple of years ago - one with a proper milk steamer and everything - and still, to this day, every coffee I make is shit. Some are warm on the top and cold at the bottom (nope, no idea how I achieve this either), some have milk that is way too frothy so doesn’t blend, and some - like the iced coffee I attempted yesterday - taste of nothing but milk and ice cubes. Delicious to some, undoubtedly, but not quite what I was going for.
It’s also been in the back of my mind that I would one day love to open a coffee shop. I’m hoping to get there before every other blogger on earth does the same, but even if it’s something I achieve in my later life, it seems I just love sitting in cafés so much that I want to open one. Obviously I’m not naive to how difficult it is to start such a business from the ground up and it’s still very much a pipe dream for now, but I figured the first step would be at least to know how to make a drinkable coffee.
Why am I telling you this? Well, it’s not to brag about my coffee machine (although there isn’t much to brag about since I don’t know how to use it and I can’t remember the last time I deep cleaned it (a.k.a. I know I’ve never done it but I don’t want to admit it)), or the fact that one day I may try and likely fail to open my own coffee shop, but to remind you that these little goals are important.
Maybe it isn’t becoming a leader in your field or relocating to Australia or ticking every world marathon of your list, but it is something. And though it may seem insignificant - learning how to make milk and coffee sing - it’s a quiet indulgence that is selfishly all mine. If I never went on to make a good coffee in my life, I wouldn’t care. I’m a shit cook anyway, so why should my beverages be any different? I still want to try it though, just afford myself that exploration. So many of our life goals are geared towards how we’re viewed by others - if we appear successful, we must feel it, right? But this one is just for me, just for fun, just because. It’s going to cost me money, time and effort and I’ll likely come out the other side just as clueless as I am now, yet I still think about signing myself up for a course each time I go to order my daily latte.
So here I am, an hour later and still in bed, still trying to stay awake and still regretting but encouraging my weekend debauchery. This time around though? Well, Google better get to work because these coffees won’t make themselves (although realistically, I wouldn’t count on me, either).
What are your little goals?
P.S. Didn't fall asleep but I amzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz