Hello! I’m Chloe & This Is Who I Want To Be On The Internet

Who do I want to be on the internet? It’s a question that I consider on a regular basis. How do I want to come across? How do I want people to perceive me? A question you’re asked a lot as an online writer/blogger of sorts is ‘who are your audience?’, and actually, that’s the one question that has stumped me consistently for quite a while now.

I’m a big advocate of not assigning labels where labels aren’t needed, whether that applies to typecasting yourself as a ‘sort’ of girl, or narrowing your style down to suit what you’re told is your body shape. Any attempt at defining my audience (and to be less wanky, I’m obviously just talking about you lovely lot) ends up being this impossibly broad: ‘umm, well, they are 20 somethings who love fashion, food and the occasional fuck (both the swear word and the act itself).’

And I think a large part of that comes down to the fact that I’m often just writing for myself. I start the day with a random thread of thoughts and then tease them out as I’m getting ready, walking to get my coffee and avoiding irritating emails. Once I open up Pages (and yes, I use Pages instead of Word, I’m sorry) I’m writing more to relieve my busy mind as opposed to rubbing my hands together and cackling ‘corrr, this will be good for traffic’.

Yet the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I’ve wanted to chat to you guys about what my intentions are as a blogger, what kind of content I hope to produce and for what purpose, if not least so you can get to know me a little better beyond my day-to-day life snippets on Instagram stories and my choice in coats (which is exquisite, if I do say so myself).

So let’s start with the basics first, shall we?

I’m 23 years old (despite being routinely mistaken for a 16 year old), I’m a petite gal at 4’11 and I fluctuate between a size 10 and 12. I’m a chubby girl for my height, and my weight is something I’ve discussed openly as, like plenty of other women out there, I struggle to learn to embrace my body in a world where I’m told I need to be taller, thinner, and more tanned.

I’m a working class girl through and through. I grew up on a council estate as part of a single parent family, I’ve worked since I was 13 years old and I boozed it up in my local park every weekend from age 14 to 17. I was not cute throughout school, and I fancied plenty of boys who would routinely sent me one word text replies which I interpreted positively as ‘I’m sure they are just busy’ (happy ending: a few of these boys tried to chat me up a few years later and I was able enjoy the long-brewed pleasure of pieing them off).

After sixth form I was accepted into my dream uni, which I quickly realised I hated and so quit a number of months later. I then started again at UEA in Norwich, and managed to drag myself through three years of lectures, seminars and late night Tesco Express trips for cheap cocktail ingredients and chocolate digestives. I graduated, but I didn’t go to my graduation. I then worked in marketing before - et voila - winding up here, with you lovelies, as a blogger.

I now live with my boyfriend Keiran, who I’ve been with for roughly about two years now. We bicker about my unpredictable mood swings and the fact that he leaves his pants all over the floor, but we start every morning with a cup of tea and some shit TV. We snack together, play games together, and love each other unconditionally.

So that’s me in a nutshell, my 23-going-on-24 years condensed into digestible chunks of facts and dates. But beyond that, who do I want to be? What is the purpose of me writing and sharing and exploring my own opinions online?

Jumper - H&M / Earrings - ASOS / Jeans - Topshop

 

I think it all comes back to my aspirations as a 17 year old sixth former, rejoicing at my £30 EMA and secretly begrudging the fact that my single Mum couldn’t afford to pay for my driving lessons or buy me my first car. I wanted more from my life, but I also wanted to retain the core of who I was - the chubby, opinionated writing fanatic who got called a ‘boff’ in school but also poured over the pages of fashion magazines without understanding who any of the obscure designers were.

A taste for high-end fashion and a working-class background are not mutually exclusive, and that’s at the heart of what I want to share online. All too often I see bloggers, influencers and media titles falling into one of two camps: the high-end, aspirational camp, or the budget, realistic camp.

Well I want to be both. If you’re working in retail right now and feeling like that YSL bag you pinned on your Christmas Wishlist Pinterest board is outside your realm of possibility, I want you to be able to see my content and read my words and understand that it isn’t. I'm not saying it's easy, but you can do it.

I want to be able to talk about the things that are important to us as young women - like sex, contraception, current affairs and feminism - but also be able to share a love for designer shoes and expensive coats. I want to be able to mix my favourite £17.99 H&M jumper whilst in the same breath, confessing that I’ve splurged a little bit of cash on a much-hyped facial serum.

I want to bridge the gap between budget and high-end - between the everyday and the special. I want to show that not every influencer you see sharing leafy autumn pics online has come from a middle-class, two-parent nuclear set up and that, instead, some of us have weird, problematic families and giant student debts and the real, impending fear that we'll never ever be able to afford a mortgage. I want to create a space where fashion is realistic and accessible for body types that don’t fit the norm. I want to be a source of attainable, day-to-day dressing inspiration. 

I’ve thrown up in my own mouth from drinking too many Jagerbombs, made terrible boy decisions and not showered for days because I’ve been sad. I’ve also purchased my own designer bag and I've loved editorial style photographs since the first time I glimpsed Lara Jade on Deviant Art. I'm a multi-faceted human being, but for the most part, I'm just Chloe from Ipswich, doing something online.

So that’s who I want to be online. Your foul-mouthed working class friend who loves to eat rice with mayonnaise but is also partial to a beautiful set of designer shoes. I hope you like it, and I hope you’ll stay with me.

C x

  • Holly White

    I love everything about this, about you, and the way you write. It is just perfect and this post is lovely!

    Ps, I’m just adding a bunch of those H&M jumpers to my basket right now!! haha xxx

  • I love this post and it really does reflect you! I think as bloggers or people online we really feel forced to focus on one thing we are interested in and run with it and slowly we end up losing all those other elements that ‘make us’. I grew up on a council estate in Yorkshire and younger me could never ever imagine being able to spend £5 on a mascara and now at 23 I’m determined to be able to get a mortgage whilst spending £30 on an eyeshadow palette and just generally beast mode on life. I think not being able to afford things or have it provided to us does make us appreciate things more when we have worked for them, however unfair it may seem at the time.

    Finally, what is it with guys leaving pants on the floor? Sigh.

    Danielle – Cooking Up A Treat

  • This is perfection. I have been searching for a writer who I can relate to.. One that words just GRIP ME! I have just stumbled across your blog and I wish I hadn’t taken so long. But this is raw and honest and can feel myself reading your work for days. EMA was one of the best things to come from school but I dreaded the looks my ‘better off friends’ gave me knowing I got extra money but little did they know my mum couldnt afford much apart from charity shop buys

    Katie

    littlekaatie.com

  • Your writing always feel so real and honest which is why I always find myself coming back to devour every piece of content you put out! It’s so reassuring to know that not all big bloggers are cookie cutter molds with rich parents and perfect pasts because I too (somewhat) begrudged the fact my parents couldn’t pay for me to have driving lessons and I had to work my ass off for years to be able to afford to learn.
    The one thing I can’t understand though is mayo and rice – just no.

  • Loved this post – your writing is so beautiful (as always) and you just make me want to keep reading more and more! I love what your message is, and I totally love your blog! x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

  • Steph Coulton

    Rice with mayo – what more could you want?? If you know, you know.

  • Beautifully written x

  • Sabrina Mebtouche

    Oh I bloody love your writing Chloe! Your honesty and openness gets me everytime and I’m happy I get to read along and follow your journey on the internet. Thanks for always keeping it real xx

  • Such a great post. Love how honest and relatable you are 🙂

    Chloe | Mojichlo

  • Scarlett London

    Such a beautifully written post – and I love your ethos, I agree – you don’t have to fit into one ‘camp’ or label yourself. What makes your blog so wonderful is that you let you (and everything that makes you, you!) shine! I love your honesty, your humility and the way you weave it in with beautiful photos! You are FAB! xxx

  • Meghan Peterson

    love this Chloe. ive been a quiet reader for a long time – keep doing you 👍

  • just discovered your blog, and love this post & your ambitions in the online space. There’s no such thing as normal or perfect, and so i’m all about online realism & everyday relatable.

    Mel x mediamarmalade.com

  • Ooh I loved this Chloe, your honesty is always so refreshing. 🙂
    Coco Bella Blog

  • Emily Hammond

    Absolutely loved this post, totally encapsulates why you’re one of my favourite blogging gals 💓
    EVHXO EDIT | Why It’s Okay To Not Have Your Shit Together

  • I followed you on Instagram a while back because I loved your style but reading your blog has made me love your content & you so much more. You have a gift!!
    A very well written & relatable post. Keep up the amazing work that you do Chloe ❤️

  • Kay May

    You’re literally my favourite person to read ever. I get a little buzz whenever I see you’ve posted because what you write is thought provoking but so dry and blunt at the same time. It’s
    My favourite kind of thing to read so thank you! X

  • Laura Rose

    firstly could that photo of you smiling be any morw gorgeous?! 😍 you’re simply the best writer/blogger out there right now Chloe, so all that you’re doing please keep doing it!

    Laura | roseandweston.blogspot.co.uk

  • Evan Francis

    I absolutely love this post. I love all your candid posts; always given me the confidence to write like this on my blog The Cornerstone for Thoughts x

  • You are *such* a great writer Chloe and I’m so glad I’ve found your blog! I loved reading this, and I love how honestly you write about your background. I’m 100% sure it will be such a help and inspiration to someone who is in the same position as you used to be. And I think you’re so right – I think it’s important to show that we can be both working class and at the same time aspiring for something “bigger”. Not everything fits so neatly into two boxes. x

  • Charlie Perry

    This is THE MOST REFRESHING blog post I’ve probably ever read. There’s so many bloggers who just blab on and pretend to be fashionistas using shitty, cringe ‘fashion-y’ language but you’re just bein real – love it! X

  • Sisu Garcia

    I just found out about you and this blog from a Lucy Moon tweet and I have to say, you’ve gained a reader! Loved reading this piece, and though many of our experiences are different I felt so identified with your writing! Especially the part about being short and chubby, I am 5’0″ and also fluctuate around a size 10, and i had never before found a blogger with whom i identified in this particular area (though i looked for ages!) So yeah, I’ve bookmarked this blog and look forward to your posts!

  • I love how open and honest you are. Your blog is always one of my faves x

    Tiffany Tales | Lifestyle & Beauty

  • Adeline B.

    And all of this is what you are for us. 😉 That mix between important conversations (which will follow us, readers, past your blog, some stuff you write about will resonate into our life and daily thinkings), female empowerment (so many topics like sex, fears we all face, body types… It’s all in there !) and love of fashion along with pics that got better and better with time (your photography is also a huge part of the pleasure of reading TLP) that showcase your amazing and so personal style.
    This blog is my little pearl, my not-guilty pleasure, something I’m proud to read, as weird as it sounds. I truly hope one day, a Chloe book will follow, as much as I love to read the blog, a book is needed ahah.

    <3

    https://i-think-its-today.blogspot.com/

  • Zara

    I LOVED this post Chloe! I’ve been reading your blog for probably about 9 months now and I love how much of your personality shines through in your posts. It’s so important to me to do the best I can do but never forget my roots, I love how honest you are about where you’ve come from but where you want to go! x

  • Chloe this is one of my fave posts of yours of all time. I love how honest and open you always are with us and I really look up to you as a blogger and a person. Keep going cause we all love ya!

    http://www.petiteelliee.com

    Ellie xx

  • Oh my gosh your writing is such a pleasure to read, it flows so beautifully ! Absolutely loved reading this and can relate to it a lot! Thank you for sharing & inspiring all the peeps like myself! Xx

    Summer, http://www.thetwinswardrobe.com

  • Josie RB

    Brilliant post! I admire the way you write, and your ability to tell it how it is. Your honesty and fondness for swearing is so engaging; we need blogs like yours. Will keep coming back for sure!

  • Pingback: Who I Want To Be Online – georgia folker()

  • This is a wonderful post! I love following your Instagram and catching up on your posts – you’re always able to find the words to express exactly how I’m feeling. Please keep writing exactly as you do – I can’t wait to read!

  • Fab, inspiring post, absolutely loved it! I feel I can really relate to you in all aspects, size 10-12, council estate upbringing, park boozing… £30 ema! I’ve only just found your blog but you have definitely gained a new follower – look forward to reading more 🙂
    http://www.meowandme.co.uk x

  • Amber-Rose

    Absolutely adore this post Chloe and certainly left me feeling inspired! 🙂
    Love reading your blog and following along with your day-to-day on instagram stories as well as your gorgeous instagram feed, I for one will definitely be sticking around for the journey!


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